Hope

What a difference one week makes! Last Sunday I was discouraged. Tired. Frustrated. Then Tuesday morning I woke up, checked our email and was instantly filled with hope. Someone was interested. A possibility. My heart skipped a beat and I ran into the bedroom to tell Jesse. He was excited, but cautious. I didn't care, all I knew was that all the hard work had paid off and someone wanted to talk with him. That was enough for me.

He scheduled a phone interview for Friday afternoon. I didn't know how we could possibly wait that long! But I kept myself busy doing anything I could to help him prepare him for this interview. Friday morning FINALLY came and I was a complete wreck! I sat and stared at my breakfast, with no appetite whatsoever. I then decided that the kitchen needed to be cleaned, floors swept and mopped, the whole nine yards. Anything to keep my mind off this interview and what it could possibly mean. Jesse sat quietly in the office and prepared. At one point he came out and said, "Stace, what are you doing?" I told him I needed to distract myself and he laughed. :)

Then about 30 minutes before the interview started, I got ready and headed to the pool. I didn't want to be in the apartment and either did Jesse. :) So, I laid there and felt like I was going to wet my pants and vomit at the same time. Checking my phone every 5 seconds. And I prayed...not sure if any of it made sense...but God knew. :) Jesse finally called and I answered calmly, "So how did it go?" :) He thought it went well and we will hopefully hear back from them in another week or two.

INSTANT relief washed over me the minute I knew it was over. So interesting how your body reacts to stress! We have no idea if this job will work out, we hope it does but only time will tell. In the meantime, we will keep plugging away and trusting God's timing. EVERYTHING is up in the air. That's a scary feeling if you've never experienced it. Trust me.

But God has us in the palm of His hand. He will never leave us or forsake us. He knows what is best for us. His timing is always right. I will cling to these truths in the coming days.

We sang a familiar song at church this weekend, but never has it touched me like it did Saturday night. The chorus says:

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

When we reached the chorus, tears streamed down my face and I couldn't sing. There weren't just a few....it was never ending. :) The word "surrender" has a whole different meaning now. So while I still have my moments of worry and doubt, I am learning and growing. More to come...